On American Idols and Goodbyes

That dude won American Idol! WTH? Crystal Bowersox can definitely sing FAR FAR BETTER than him. Silly americans only vote based on looks and not talents huh! I'm sure Crystal will fare better than the dude, MUCH BETTER! Just wait till their albums come out...

Seeing this! Makes me realized that sometime...I just gotta move on.
From the things that I cherished,
From the people that I used to loved,
From things that I have lost,
From my friends,
From nostalgias...

I'm not good at doing all that. But I have to move along and not hold on to history.
Cherish today and look forward to tomorrow. And grow up!

So this is goodbye to...

My first ever teddy bear, Mr Bear. He's brown and he has dark eyes and red ribbon on his neck.

The good old days of joining the 37th Kerian Scout Troop. All the campings, and campfires, and awesome training camps. Oh memories!

Some of my bestest friends that I have the honors to make and had a lot of fun hanging out with. Guess chit-chatting at Mamak Stalls is not really our things anymore huh... And hence we drifted further apart due to our other commitments!

The Skinny Jerry. And then the Chubby Jerry. A guy gotta exercise to stay fit and healthy.

Also to the lazy and constantly procastinating part of me. I can do "Better Late Than Never" anymore. I need to evolve and do "Better Now Then Late" starting from NOW. There's never gonna be NEVER in my book. I need to JUST DO IT!

To some of my friends, who showed their true selves and turned out to be very bad for me. I have to be strict and brutal here. Buang Yang Keruh, Ambil Yang Jernih.

Finally, I have to say goodbye to the respects and admirations that I had for some people too. I hope that they will know soon that it's bad and irresponsible to be selfish and lazy, to not keep promises, to be overbearingly dependent, to have selective hearing, to be a marginalist, to reply messages with laconic mono-syllabic terms, to not open up, to not communicate, to judge a book by its cover, and to assume that I'm their charity case.

So long. Goodbye. Breakaway.

Chubbily-Skinnily Duckling

In the begining, there were two types of people. Those that gain weight quickly due to low metabolism rate; and those who can't seem to gain weight due to high metabolism rate.

The low-met worked very hard to stay slim. They did all sorts of diets... They exercised and ran like there's not tomorrow... Heck! They even counted how many spoonfuls of rice they get to have per day!

The high-met, unsurprisingly, worked very hard to gain weight. They ate like there would be no foods left tomorrow... They even tried the weight gaining powders... When they saw that the above methods failed, they just ate, slept and ate some more!

Life was depressing for both types of people... And some (or should I say a majority of them) found solace in each others' predicament and that's when everything fell apart...

They fell in love. Then they got married. And they made babies... Babies with weird metabolism...

Various weird babies were made... Especially babies with different metabolic rates on different parts of their bodies... Like one with low metabolism on his face but high metabolism on all other parts of his body from the neck down...

He was so saddened due to his chubby face and slim body... Others laughed and teased him... He was the "Chubbily-Skinnily Duckling!"

But he was determined to make them stop... He was not gonna let them win with their insensitive teasing and laughing!

So he started eating lots of red meat (because they contain high amounts of proteins) and exercising consistently to help him build muscle, and he started chewing gums, singing (only when he's alone or in the shower) and talking and making new friends to help him to slim his face down.

And it worked! Now he has an awesomely handsome face and healthy and toned body! And he's having the last laugh over those that used to laughed at him! Ha ha ha =)


=THE END=

Mr Me

These things i write
Are not exactly true
When i write, i write
Reality and fictions too

If you are wise
You will see through
The truths and lies
You will get through

Inspirations come
Whenever i'm down
And i'll be calm
when i'm out of town

Into the woods
Across the rivers
Enjoying single-hood
Sometimes the shivers

Because i'm single
I'm always available
Ready to mingle
Not always attainable

What i wanted to said...

You made me felt safety...
whenever i look at you
You made me felt hypnotized...
with your beautiful eyes
You made me felt secured...
because you're a comfort zone
You made me felt hopeful...
that emotional connection is possible
You made me felt connected...
it's like we've known each other since forever
You made me felt suprized...
it's impossiblly rare to share so much in common
You made me felt relaxed...
i can go on talking with you
You made me felt calmness...
the world stops when i'm with you
You made me felt greedy...
i can never get enough of you
You made me felt flabbergasted...
that falling for someone is so easy
You made me felt conflicted...
i've been trying and failling to not fall for you

You make me feel love...
i'm happy that we are friends because i think i love you

Four Awesome Tips on Buying CDs

1. Don't buy the first edition CD. There will always be a special/duluxe/limited/extended edition with more songs and videos and freebies for a particular album...

2. Don't buy CDs in shops specialized in selling CDs. They always butcher you (and me) with sky-high price-tags. Get your CDs from bookstores... Borders is my favorite place cos they have discounted CDs...ALL.THE.TIME.

3. If you want to buy CDs from hip and awesome artists (i.e. Linkin Park, AAR, Lady GaGa, and anyone or band or group that includes curse words in their albums) don't get the CDs in Malaysia or try getting the imported CDs. The idiotic, silly, stoooopid, trigger-friendly and psychologically unstable minions in the censorship board would censored most of the lyrics (just like what you get from the local radio stations). Hence, you will feel cheated and darn unsatisfied with your CDs.

4. Only buy the CDs from artists that deserve your money... Don't buy CDs for the sake of collecting them because you have been getting the CDs from the same artist/group/band since forever... The musics tend or most of the time will turn sucky, especially when someone decided to change the direction of their creativity or someone left a group/band.

The Need to Escape

Life has been very busy lately...

Busy waiting for people to give me the green light to finish my assignments;

Busy getting frustrated with myself because I was kept waiting for so long;

Busy finishing my other assignments before their deadlines;

Busy with debate training and selection process;
Busy talking and discussing with walls;

Busy avoiding people i don't want to meet;

Busy avoiding my past who is haunting me now;

Busy taking up responsibilities when i shouldn't have;

Busy tellling everyone it's gonna be OK;

Busy trying to get un-busy... To no avail...

Feels like I can't breathe most of the time...

When I feel like I can, I'm constantly worrying that I will run out of air to breathe...

My favorite song now is Dido's 'Sand in My Shoes'...

At least it gives me a false and temporary sense of freedom when i'm listening to it...

I would be good if I can escape from everything and everybody now...

Wish i can just hit "Pause" right here and right now...

For as long as I desire...

Because I want to be anywhere but here...

On Presentation Slides

There was this one time no too long ago in UKM... I was forced to help one of my idiotic, lazy and irresponsible juniors to to her program proposals. After awesomely completed her proposels, I realised that we would have to present them to the school authorities to get the approval aka MONETARY FUNDING. I was too tired of using my brain juice to help her by then. Thinking that she must not be that stoooppiid... I let her do the presentation slides and was planning to let her present the proposals...

Then.... Mother of all horror!!!! She had to screw up the slides and she had to had a panic attack (due to her lack of preparation) while we were waiting in line. OMG!!!!

Goodness gracious! Our presentation slot were postponed. Not because of her, but because the school authorities grew tired of listening to useless, lame proposals.

So I took the liberty of helping her (again) to redo the presentation slides. And since she bailed and took her silly ass back to her hometown and also avoided me by refusing to answer my calls, I also presented the presentation.

Of course I nailed the presentation. Hence, we will be heading to Australia next year!!!! Sans my idiotic, lazy and irresponsible junior of course... Karma is a bitch...

Betrayal

I asked for your help
You said 'YES'
I gave you the instructions
You said 'OK'
I reminded you to be cautious
You said 'I'LL BE CAREFUL'
I worried about you
You said 'I WON'T SCREW UP'
I waited for you
You said 'I NEED MORE TIME'
I lost my patience
You said 'I'M ALMOST DONE'
I thanked you
You said 'ANYTIME BRO'

I thought you helped me
You were 'NOT HELPFUL'
I thought you followed my instructions
You 'DIDN'T'
I thought you were cautious
You were 'SO F*#@ING CARELESS'
I thought you were great
You were 'SCREWING AROUND'
I kept on waiting
You kept on 'WASTING MY TIME'
I lost my cool
You said 'YOU WERE SORRY'
I take back my forgiveness, because
You 'BETRAYED MY TRUST'\

P/S: I HOPE YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE...

Of Funeral, Tutoring my Cousins, Suprised Shopping, and Chatting Jap-Culture

The other day, not so long ago, my grand-uncle passed away. I didn't really feel sad and devastated. In fact, I felt happy and relieved because he is finally free to move on, faraway from his suffering and illness and off to the other side to meet with his old friends and relatives. So I went to his funeral rather happily. I ate a lot of stuffs (OMG! Funeral foods are so delicious!) such as Laksa, Chicken porridge, Chinese kuih, more Laksa, Fried pork, ABC sup, Lotus rot and groundnut sup, Salted veggie and tofu sup, etc... I also met and chatted with so many people because most of my relatives were there (My grand-uncle was a great man when he was alive!). I catchede up with my cousins on their lives, I asked how my garnny and grand-aunts and other grand-uncles are doing, I repeated that I'm doing my Master degree now like a gazillion times, even to my dad's friends that I haven't really met before! After the funeral, we sent our condolences again to his family...

And I went to my aunt's house to tutor my cousins (all five of them) in SPM, PMR and UPSR. Truth be told, tutoring my own cousins is way more difficult than tutoring stranger. Due to our bonds (FYI, I'm defending champion in the unofficial poll of most popular cousin...LOL), they were not really taking my tuition seriously. They tend to drift away into their phone texting, favorite TV shows and shopping planning. But I couldn't blame them la. They are still my cousins and they were on holidays. Hence, I tried my best to tutor them whenever they were in the mood to study. FYI, this always and definitely happened after I called my aunt and asked her to come check on us. Sneaky! I know! But hey! It worked!!!

After nearly completing our revision, we were brought out to AutoCity by my uncle and aunt for dinner. We switched restaurants twice, thanks to my picky-without-no-real-decision-on-where-to-eat cousins and finally settled on BOSTON. The dinner was awesome because we were food swapping like nobody's business and everybody gets to eat everything! (PSA: You can only do so if you're 100% sure that you are all healthy and have clean mouth hygiene! Seriously!) After dinner, we went walking around AutoCity. And I got an absolutely cool watch from one of the booths. I wasn't planning to buy anything so it was awesome that I got something so marvelous!

Before I came back here, We met up with my uncle's Japanese friend Mr Kobayashi and he introduced us to his younger daughter Miho-san. She was so cute and friendly. Her English is so-so but we had a great time chatting about Animes, Mangas, Japanese series, Harajuku, Nagasaki, Hiroshima, Japanese temples, and Japanese festivals... She even invited us all to Japan!!! Hahaha... Maybe we will go there afterall, in the future, not now definitely!

So spending times with my family makes me so awesomely happy and kinda recharged my energy and spirits a lot! I love my family! So much that I am missing them now! Looking forward to my next trip home... O_0

Death's Memories

Here you are again
Taking lives
Guiding souls
Creating sorrows
Stifling cherfulness

Here you are again
Uninvited
Unanticipated
Unforseened
Unwelcomed

Here you are again
You come
And you go
We die
And we follow

Wasting Time...

A New Fixation

I just realized that I am so in love with French songs. I can't explain the connection. I am just so in love with it. J'adore les musiques des Francais. C'est Bon!

Dear Yasmin

You inspired us to race-less unity
You motivated us to embrace diversity
You moved us with your wonderful creations
You reminded us to respect each others
You are the one-and-only Yasmin Ahmad
You are a role model for us, for me
You are a Legend that shall live on forever in our minds, our hearts, and our souls
May you rest in peace beside the Al-Mighty...

From Reluctance to Enjoyment

So, being a student felo means more than taking care of the students' welfare. We have to guide and monitor their activities progress. We have to do pep talks with them. We have to help them to re-enter their room with spare keys whenever they lock themselves out (P/S: Speaking from experience, students have a weird and consistent tendency to lock themselves out, especially when they want to go shower i.e. they only have their towels on them...). We, well only me, have to be the face of the dorm and PR-ing with the foreign students since my dorm start taking foreign students. And most unfortunately, we ahve to attend random workshops...Sigh...

Last week I attended a so-called "Kursus Pemantapan Felo" in Langkawi, albeit reluctantlybecause the Deputy Vice Chancellor decided to send out "chained mails" that read: Yo'all need to get your asses to the workshop unless you are terminally sick or dying. Hence, I ended up missing the most awesome debating tournament and in the blink of an eye...pooffff... I'm in Langkawi!

The registration - smooth, I roomed with my good friend Daniel.
The facilitators - nice, warm and welcoming! Really enjoy the workshop due to the facilitators only... Comical actions, remarks and jokes included...
The room that we got - Seriously absolutely totally SHADY! The first time Daniel took his shower, well he shouted like a crazy girl because the tap water was yellowish with rust fragments as the company...OMG! WTF! But being the troopers that we are, we presevered and 'tahan'... To add to the already humongous SHADINESS, our room carpet had weird spots all over it, we seriously didn't know and lagi seriously didn't want to know what was them or where did they came from...
The talks - B-O-R-I-N-G! So I doodled and memorized some song lyrics whenever I felt sleepy, which was like 85% of the time.
The Marching - Rather fun because I was not complaining like other suckers who were forced to be at the same place, at the same time as me. Seriously grateful that I was a Scout back in high school and I felt totally awesome since I nailed the marching...Fabulous Smiley Faces...
The workshop - turned into a training camp from "Biro Tatanegara". More complaining fro the other suckers followed since we had to do a lot of physical stuffs. So many people were in denial about where they were... But being the felos from my absolutely awesome dorm, we accepted the fact that we couldn't change anything and just simply had to go through with this workshop/talk/camp/whatever with High Adaptibilities and Classy Posh!

There were some fun things that made the camp enjoyable...
For starter, we broke the curfew everytime we had the chance to and went out from camp site to the beach, to the "Ikan Bakar" and seafood restaurant for fresh, cheap and delicious seafoods, to the souvenirs shops, and to go out from the camp site, just for fun doing nothing...

We also had a so-called "Group Survival" final day of the camp. Whereby we were left with nothing except our clothes on us, our I/C, and our other team-mates. So the aim was to collect 50 bucks per team for a BBQ dinner that we were having. To generate that amount of moolah, we worked in a Padi Museum and it was SO-SO-SO-MUCH FUN!!!! We "tanam/cucuk benih padi. tuai padi, bersihkan kiambang dalam kolam, and tangkap ikan-ikan (bersama dengan pacat-pacat sangat gila siul besar) menggunakan perangkap buluh di dalam sawah padi". It was fan-freakin'-tastic for me personally because I got to do all these things that I had never did before!!! Awesome!!!

But our kind, easy-going, and friendly facilitators suddenly unleashed their inner evil, sadistic and ruthlessly stingy alter egos!!! So we were overworked and underpaid... Good thing we were allowed to freelancing to generate more moolah for our team... My team decided to sing classic Malay songs to foreign tourists and We were absolutely successful!!! Our first customers were a couple of Middle-eastern lovers. They knew nothin' about what we were saying but they were so awesomely kind to want to treat our group of 8 members to lunch when we got to the words "hungry and no money". Of course we rejected the tantalizing offer, so we sang "Rasa Sayang" to them and they gave us 10 bucks... OMG!!! So much moolah with so little efforts!!!

After that, we got 30 bucks from a group of American tourists that kinda prefered to pay us to n0t-to-sing... Haha... But they went along when we told them we were singing classic Malay songs (P/S: "Negaraku" was made into acoustic Malay classic briefly... Everyone were standing up, including the tourists). Now we seriously started to consider the idea of staying permanently in Langkawi and sing our ways to fame and fortune!!! Seriously!!!

A very warm and friendly UK middle-aged couple followed by an enthusiastic and energetic Austrian middle-aged couple gave us 10 bucks each. So by singing 4 times and choosing from 3 songs (Rasa Sayang, Ikan Kedek-kedek, and Negaraku) we managed to get 60 bucks already...
That's freakin' awesome!!!! We were going to sing more because we just enjoy singing to the foreign tourists' clueless and happy faces but our plan was cutted short due to time constraint and the other suckers that were asking for donation because they couldn't use their brains to come up with something more creative to get money...Sigh... But we sure as hell had fun...

Through the camp, I made new friends and we totally bonded from the fantastic times we spent together. I also sneaked out from camp to the beach bars to drink and now I'm absolutely into "Frozen Magarita"... Before we went back, we stopped by the Kuang town because all of us "left": a lot of important stuffs (i.e. alchohols, chocolates, travel luggages, perfumes, souvenirs, etc) there. I spent some money there too in the process of "getting back" the beers, vodkas, chocolates and souvenirs that I "left'' in Kuang myself before the camp.

On the ride back, we watched Micheal Jackson Concert while enjoying the "Langsat". We dropped by for "Nasi Lemak Ikan Masin" dinner at Sungai Perak. And when we finally arrived UKM, it was 1234am this Tuesday...

Just in case you don't know, I enjoyed myself towards the end of our camp. Big-Time!!!

The Hunt for Black Panty Hose

One fine day, not so long ago, Moi woke up rather early for a Saturday cos Moi have to lend Moi support to Moi sister that was attending an important job interview. Moi cleaned up and was ready to go.

Moi walked to the bus stop outside Moi campus. On the way there, Moi sister messaged Moi...

Sis: Hey bro, where art thou now?
Moi: Hey sis, walkin 2 get the bus. Y?
Sis: Umm... I nid ur help la...
(Moi brain: This is weird... Not good!)
Moi: Wit wat?
Sis: I nid u 2 help me buy somethin...Can?
(Moi brain: Red Alert!!! Definitely Not Good!!!)
Moi: Spill it sis! wat u wan?
Sis: Can u help me to buy BIG A4 size envelope?
(Moi brain: OMG! Is that it?! I'm such a paranoid idiot!)
Moi: Oh! No prob! C u l8r!
Sis: While ur at it, pls help me buy panty hose too... Can?
(Moi brain: See see see... I told you that there's something fishy!!! )
Moi: R U SERIOUS??? I thought all girls passing 12yo have panty hose??!! Y u nid to buy now?
Sis: I 4got to bring mine dis mornin... Pls pls pls...
Moi: Ok la... U-O-Me BIG Time!

So Moi got new mission before meeting Moi sister... The Hunt for Panty Hose!!!

Moi went to this pseudo-convinience store in Bandar Tasik Selatan's LRT/KTM/RapidKL Bus station. No trace of panty hose...

Moi went to Times Square...Only 9am... Not open yet...

Moi went to Times Square's... Starbucks Coffee!!! And get Mocha Frappuccino!!!!!!

Moi waited...

10am, Moi made way to Watson in Times Square... No panty hose...
Moi went to the sales assistant...Moi called her Busy...

Moi: Do you sell panty hose here?
Busy: Why you want panty hose?
Moi: I want to wear it. Do you sell it here?
Busy: Why do you want to wear it? You are girl?
Moi: I'm a guy, but sometimes I do drag... Like last night I did and tore my panty hose. So I need a new one now. Do you sell it here?
Busy: You are weird and crazy...
Moi: Yes I am! Do you sell panty hose here?
Busy: No.

And stupid Busy walked away from Moi... Absolutely Dazed and Terrified... Hahahaha... Suit her well for being a Busy Body!!! (I know! I know! Moi is Evil! Right?!)

Moi was rather pleased to have annoyed and frightened the Busy-body Busy... But the hunt for panty hose continued...

Moi walked to this random shop selling socks, accessories, and PANTY HOSES!!! BINGO!!!!!!
There was a Major problem... On display are as follow:

1) Fishnet panty hose
2) Medium-sized fishnet panty hose
3) Skanky fishnet panty hose
4) S&M Fishnet panty hose
5) S&M leather panty hose
6) Pink panty hose
7) Green panty hose
...So many colors, so little blog space...
31) Polka dot panty hose
... So many different colors of polka dots, so so so little blog space...

Basically there were over a gazillion variety on display... Moi called Moi sister...

Moi: I found the panty hose museum, what color/type/DNA/species/design you want?
Sis: Oh! So many design ah... Then no need to buy already la... I just found my black panty hose. Apparently I did remember to brought it along this morning... Thanks anyway...
Moi: I will wack you when I meet you after this!
Sis: Sorry la... Later I treat you lunch... OK?
Moi: That's more like it... See you later sis...
Sis: Ok! See ya!

(Moi brain: At least you learned that 1) people like to judge other people eventhough they shouldn't so those who judge will be judged back and 2) there are a gazillion panty hoses out there...)

The hunt was stopped... So Moi went to support Moi sister... Starbucks Frap in hand!!! (Happy Grin)

PiX i TaKe #1

...CUTEY PUPPY...

...Laksa Laksa Laksa...

....Killer Gladiator Heels...

...The Dawn is Breaking...

...Cuddly Kitty...

...Foot Fetish...

...Seriously...SERIOUSLY...

...Roof Vienna...

...Le Pomme...

...Fallen Blossom...

Easy Breezy

Waking up late in the evening
Feeling hot and sweaty

The electricity was off
Walking to the main power point

Turning on again the main switch
Lights and wind followed

Easy breezy
Going back to sleep now

I need my 18-hour sleep
Seriously...

BAd ChiNeSe...

Ok. I'm turning into a bad Chinese. FYI, I'm not being racist but do you know that Chinese pride ourselves in our super-duper-awesomely superior Mathematics skills? We invented the 'Xuan Pan' and we are super-duper-awesomely meticulous when it come to money-matters. For us, there's always a very crystal clear line that separate family, friendship, and whatever-relationship with MONEY! We tend to be very formal, or rather cold and calculative when it comes to money...We try to not owe anybody money, we make damn sure that NOBODY owes us money... Money is like our energeons...

Points of Being Good Chinese

1) I took less than 60 seconds to calculate how much everybody had to pay me for group dinner/lunch or in sharing birthday/wedding gifts. Condition: The receipts must be preserved for the smoothness of my calculation flow and as proof.

2) I always take receipts whenever I get something. Anything without receipt, I won't get it or I would get it somewhere which is able to issue me receipt.

3) I have successfully helped my friends a gazillion times in getting back their money from their IOUs.

4) I was educated by my parents and my Chinese friends that Subtlety and Formality is the best tools to get money when Punctuality failed.

5) I'm a calculative person when I'm getting stuffs i.e. I have to plan my shopping list -> do market survey and pricing comparision -> filter my shopping list through the necessity and frequency of usage scanners that I was born with in my brain (just like any other Chinese) -> and then only I will do my shopping.

6) I keep tab on my daily expenditure. What I eat (since I have a super-massive blackhole in my stomach), What I get, What I share, What I pay for, etc. This is to ensure that I'm will not exceed my daily expenditure.

7) I pride myself for the Absolutely Awesome management of the clarity and structure of my Absolutely Awesome records and memory regarding money.

So having said the above, why am I turning into a bad Chinese?

Point 5 and 6 were broken this week when I went to Alamanda Shopping Mall...

By a pair of Awesome Espirit shirt, on sale with 50% discount. I tried it (was kidding myself that "Feeling the shirt is an essential part of me doing my Market Survey), it felt Awesome on my skin. And most importantly, I looked damn HOT and SEXY with it on me. Hence I bought it there and then...

I think Point 7 was automatically broken too since Point 5 and 6 were broken...

But, it's OK! The shirt was on 50% discount. And I looked damn HOT and SEXY with it on me.

Crush.Crash.Catching Up.Clubbing.Cinema

I had just found my latest crush!!!
French, Hot, Gorgeous, Edgy, and Absolutely Undeniably the Sexiest Human Alive! Did I mentioned about the French and Hot parts? Yes I did but, STILL!!!
But we are so far away from each other. One living in Paris, France and the other (Moi, of course!) living here in Malaysia. So I think I will have to put my crush aside for now...

I'm quite sleepy now but I don't wanna sleep cos it's Friday Night! But I should cos I need my extra sleeping hours during every weekend to keep myself awake on the coming week. So much for me and my obsession with sleeping at least 12 hours a day... I bet I will crash onto my bed in a short while...

The other day I went out with my super-cool and super-hot and newly single course-mates for dinner. We catched up with each others and then we decided that we need to go clubbing together. This has been a thing that we planned to do since our first year in university. But we are all pretty much clueless about clubbing. Like the seriously, helplessly clueless until we will definitely get trick by perverts in the club kind of clueless.

So, one of us, who is slightly more experienced (ex-club hopper) suggested that we go to Lounge or Pub or Bar for drinks first to get used to the scene, aka getting our Pubbing Diploma first before graduating to Clubbing. So, we will go to either SkyBar or Qualtro.

Since all my course-mates are suddenly single, I decided to play match-maker to them. I'm planning to introduce my ex-housemate to them. He's super-cool, super-hot, super-steady and super-awesome. So I hope that good things will happen to my course-mates because they really deserve Happiness in the Love and Relationship department. Seriously!

FYI, I'm gearing up to watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen! Bet it's going to Kick-Ass and AWESOME!

Language Cocktailing and Malapropism

Lately i found myself to be mixing English, Malay, Mandarin, Teochew, French, Japanese, etc into a very 'deadly' and confusing cocktail of communicative offenses. It's not my fault, really! Because i am living in Malaysia and thus have friends from every etnicity. I can't help myself...

I was amazed at myself the other day when i went to the MAMAK stall for lunch...


Me: Aneh, i nak nasi goreng ayam, double...
Aneh: OK Leng cai! Duduk dulu. Minum?
Me: Tak nak, nak tapao nasi je..
Aneh: ???... Minum?
Me: Tak nak minum la aneh, nak tapao nasi.
Aneh went and talked to Aneh#2...
Aneh#2: Leng cai, kita takde jual air yang u mau la. Lain-lain air ada.
My brain: Wtf! i told you i want to tapao the goddamn fried rice! No Drink!
Me: Oh... Ok. I nak tapao air limau ais.
Aneh#2: Apa tu tapao?
My brain: Silly me, jumbling up the languages...
Me: Oh!! I nak bungkus nasi goreng ayam double dan air limau ais.
My brain: Bummer!!!


Besides that, I also misused and/or mispronouced some words, especially Malay words...


1. Bangsar Village - Kampung Bangsa
2. Pelat - Pekat
3. Hari - Hali and Kali
4. Rasa - Raseh
5. Mandat - Mantan
6. Pesawah - Pesawa
7. Facade - Visage
8. Beach - Bitch
9. Peach - Pitch
10. Apendicitis - Apenditis

Note-to-self: ALWAYS control you tongue movement when you speak and TRY not to jumble up your languages...