Friends 2.0

"You're a brutally cruel person when it comes to deciding who's your friend." I get that a lot from all my friends.

Truth is... I don't like to make new friends. Hate making the effort to look for new friends. Hate trying to get a conversation moving. Hate to make the first move to make friends. Hate to repeat the whole process over again...

Most importantly, i like to keep my friends exclusive. Don't really care about strangers but i will cross the ocean and get dirty to help and support my friends. Seriously! I honestly believe that any friendship made is like a bond between humans. It's a sacred bond, and both sides should never ever even think of ruining it.

I think i make a solid A- as friends. I listen. I care. I help anywhere I can. I share. I gossip. I bitch. And i'm capable of telling my friends that they suck, when they really suck! Sorry, can't ruin the sacred bond with dishonesty, right?

But i personally think that the "brutally cruel" part has to come in somehow... When i'm discontinuing a friendship after some supercillious fools decided to break the sacred bond.

How? Not accepting me as a full package by only liking my good parts. Betraying my trust. Try to prevent me from making new friends. Held me down.

How i deal with these? I cut them out completely. End of the story.

Hey! But i'm not completely heartless! I will consider (don't be too hopeful. i'm just considering..) to rebond for those that have balls to apologize and admit that they screwed up.

Recent events have make me decide to repeat the process of making new friends. I'm OCD, so i believe in keeping the exclusive quota that is my number of friends - Cut the number down when it gets to much, get the number up to replace the fallens.

Cruella

Cruella Cruella
She thinks she's Cinderella
But she's uglier than the ugliest umbrella

Cruella Cruella
She thinks she's the best of the best
But she's sucking at being the last of the rest

Cruella Cruella
She thinks she's honest and real
But she's just a hypocritically bitchy seal

Cruella Cruella
She said she's not judging
But she's judging every thing and person on every breath she's breathing

Cruella Cruella
She thinks she's funny and cool
But she's nothing but a messed-up fool

Cruella Cruella
You're not one of my fellas
You're just uglier than the ugliest umbrella

Mr Me

These things i write
Are not exactly true
When i write, i write
Reality and fictions too

If you are wise
You will see through
The truths and lies
You will get through

Inspirations come
Whenever i'm down
And i'll be calm
when i'm out of town

Into the woods
Across the rivers
Enjoying single-hood
Sometimes the shivers

Because i'm single
I'm always available
Ready to mingle
Not always attainable

Debating in BM and Personal Glory...

Last night, we had an awesome debate with the team from INTEC.. IN Bahasa Malaysia!!! And i was in the team representing my college. I was so nervous and excited when we were prepping for the match. It's been a long looonnngg time since i last debated in Bahasa Malaysia. I even practised in front of the bathroom mirror (That's the bigger mirror i can get... With full-view of my entire upper body... So i'm not complaining!) and i sounded so weird trying to speak Bahasa baku... I even laughed at myself because i was practically stunned.

Good thing i had a very strong team, consisting of Iejan (my absolutely wise and witty team-mate back when we were joining BM debate in our first year) and Hidir + Jija (our equally wise and hardworking juniors). We helped each other with our points and argumentation and all was great because we were just so in-tuned with each other. Really enjoy working in an awesome team with smooth, effective dynamic.

We were up against so smart-alecs from INTEC, they came late... Booo Hooo... And they were unprepared. We absolutely kicked their sorry asses during the match. Iejan was being his usual whimsical and yet commanding self. Hidir was calm and collected as the second speaker thanks to Jija helping him to come up with his speech. And i was really sarcastic and mean as the whip speaker. i practically whipped the sweats out of the INTEC speakers... (cue evil grin....)

By the end of the match, they were looking so defeated and we were just happy that we gave our best performance despite not debating for so long already. Unfortunately, we lost to INTEC because we made the mistake of rejecting their case although we could've just accepted and attacked them straight-up. It was a lost with small margin, but we had so much fun.

I was even named as the best fricking speaker in the match... Seriously! I was caught by suprise by that announcement. This means a lot to me because when i started public speaking in primary school, i started with BM... So nostalgic and magical...

We invited them back for rematch and i'm sure we gonna kick their asses even more strongly the next time they come... Revenge needs to be seek, Justice needs to be served...

Till the next post then...

What i wanted to said...

You made me felt safety...
whenever i look at you
You made me felt hypnotized...
with your beautiful eyes
You made me felt secured...
because you're a comfort zone
You made me felt hopeful...
that emotional connection is possible
You made me felt connected...
it's like we've known each other since forever
You made me felt suprized...
it's impossiblly rare to share so much in common
You made me felt relaxed...
i can go on talking with you
You made me felt calmness...
the world stops when i'm with you
You made me felt greedy...
i can never get enough of you
You made me felt flabbergasted...
that falling for someone is so easy
You made me felt conflicted...
i've been trying and failling to not fall for you

You make me feel love...
i'm happy that we are friends because i think i love you

Sickness Became Me

Been down since this Monday. Damn! I should take better care of myself. Eat healthier foods, go exercise and follow a more structured sleeping rountine. But of course, I did not. So now I'm still suffering (Seriously! SUFFFEEEERRINNG!) from crazy fever and depresive Tonsilitis.

I confirmed the fact that I'm super moody, cranky and magnificently un-productive when I'm sick. I've been laying on bed whenever I got the chance too since Monday. Lost some weight too. Swallowing anything has been like shoving stones and pebbles down my throat. Excruciatingly painful to bear, effingly annoying to wait for this to stop. (War Cry to my throat: You will not get me! Hell ya I'm gonna drink chilled yogurt drinks and stop eating solid foods!)

Nothing much I could do, or rather I wanted to do these past few days. Highlight of my days (well, at least for these few days...) is reading 'Map of the Invisible World' by Tash Aw. Oh! I thank him for his smooth story telling. Really soothened my pain.

I don't like it when people start bombarding me with calls EVERYTIME I'm sick! Especially those who called and ignored the fact that I'm literally speechless and continued with their noise pollution! Heck! I can't even stand lullaby being played at low volume! Do you really think I was listening to your stupid emo-babbling about breaking up with your boyfriend?

So please put down your end of the phone nicely and switch to texting me when I'm telling you that I'm sick. Don't be a bitch because I'm gonna be wasting your phone credit by putting my phone somewhere (far)away from my hearing...

Dear God! Please heal me... I'm withering into non-existence and I'm sad that I can't work (and play). Thank You for Your kind and always generous TLC. Amen.

Four Awesome Tips on Buying CDs

1. Don't buy the first edition CD. There will always be a special/duluxe/limited/extended edition with more songs and videos and freebies for a particular album...

2. Don't buy CDs in shops specialized in selling CDs. They always butcher you (and me) with sky-high price-tags. Get your CDs from bookstores... Borders is my favorite place cos they have discounted CDs...ALL.THE.TIME.

3. If you want to buy CDs from hip and awesome artists (i.e. Linkin Park, AAR, Lady GaGa, and anyone or band or group that includes curse words in their albums) don't get the CDs in Malaysia or try getting the imported CDs. The idiotic, silly, stoooopid, trigger-friendly and psychologically unstable minions in the censorship board would censored most of the lyrics (just like what you get from the local radio stations). Hence, you will feel cheated and darn unsatisfied with your CDs.

4. Only buy the CDs from artists that deserve your money... Don't buy CDs for the sake of collecting them because you have been getting the CDs from the same artist/group/band since forever... The musics tend or most of the time will turn sucky, especially when someone decided to change the direction of their creativity or someone left a group/band.

Stopping...Myself

Stop complaining...There are others who are more miserable
Stop procastinating...You gotta do it now and do it good
Stop defining...Living has no definition
Stop pretending...Tell them you don't like their silly annoyances
Stop hiding...Life is much better in the great outdoors
Stop worrying...Just explore and experience
Stop waiting...Tell them you wanna be their friends
Stop pining...You know you should move on
Stop getting influenced...You are who you are
Stop trying to cry...You are a happy person...Don't change that
Stop thinking...Start planning your trips
Stop eating excessively...You eat way too much...Others are jealous with your metabolism
Stop trying to stop yourself...You deserve much better...Go get it!!!

Mes Amis...

I like my friends... They are different... They are not normal people...
I have friends from a diverse cultural mixing pot (Malaysia Negara Berbilang Kaum... Sempoi!)
I have friends from Parit Buntar (Me hometown...Childhood friends)
I have friends who pulled down my pant and exposed my undies in the schoolbus (I pulled them back)
I have friends who don't friend with me now... but friend with me later (Oh the joy of kindergarten)
I have friends who go way back with me (My brothas and sistas back in primary and secondary school)
I have friends who are Scouts (37th Krian Scout Troop - We are the Champions!!!)
I have my best friends (Nien Cze, Kae Ong, Elle, Iejan, and Fea)
I have my KMPh Gang (Jin Ee, Chung Min, Chang Yun, Yong Kang, Qi Wei)
I have bimbo friends (Fea, Kevin, Alia, Myself, etc...)
I have my cool, awesome, clever debater friends (Killing brain cells is so much fun!)
I have my ex-course mates (All are beauties with brains...Chemistry is HArd and Difficult...)
I have my MEP friends (MEP-MAjlis Eksekutif Pelajar Kolej Ibu Zain)
I have technophobe (Ma cherie - Tang Cher Linn)
I have other-phobes (Ma Cherie - Tang Cher Linn)
I have gossip kings and queens (All my friends are...Most just don't realize this fact)
I have problematic suicidal friends (Can't tell you... Won't tell you)
I have gay friends (Don't have to tell you...You will figure them out soon)
I have lesbian friends (You don't know them anyway)
I have friends who smokes (Keat Lim, Reno, Nana...OMG! Only 3 smokers... Sweet!)
I have friends i met online

I love all my friends... Eventhough I don't show it or tell them...
They keep me going...
They are always here with me...
All Hail Friendship!!!

A State of Ignorance Which Leads to Disastrous Suicidality

So i had this friend. Everything is about him. He always rant and rant and rant about him unable to get any girlfriend. The problem is - he just kept on looking and chasing for girls who are seriously and extremely way outta his reach. Of course, he get rejected by the girls, in fact, he got rejected over and over and over again. But unfortunately, he is just too dumb to learn that all those girls are way way outta his league... I feel sad for my friend because now he's getting himself miserable and depressed by listening to suicidal songs and watching depressive movies. I hope that my friend will lower down his expectation because he's seriously seriouly plain looking.
I really hope that my friend will find his happiness and not keep on daydreaming that he actually stand a chance to get all those extremely high maintanance and drop dead gorgeous crushes of his... It ain't gonna happen for you my friend... Wake up from your dream...