Inside Joke

I'm afraid of children
They like me

I'm scared of women over 35
They wink a me

I'm terrified of St Jays
They chase me

I'm tired of my Awesome-ness
But I still adore me

Crush.Crash.Catching Up.Clubbing.Cinema

I had just found my latest crush!!!
French, Hot, Gorgeous, Edgy, and Absolutely Undeniably the Sexiest Human Alive! Did I mentioned about the French and Hot parts? Yes I did but, STILL!!!
But we are so far away from each other. One living in Paris, France and the other (Moi, of course!) living here in Malaysia. So I think I will have to put my crush aside for now...

I'm quite sleepy now but I don't wanna sleep cos it's Friday Night! But I should cos I need my extra sleeping hours during every weekend to keep myself awake on the coming week. So much for me and my obsession with sleeping at least 12 hours a day... I bet I will crash onto my bed in a short while...

The other day I went out with my super-cool and super-hot and newly single course-mates for dinner. We catched up with each others and then we decided that we need to go clubbing together. This has been a thing that we planned to do since our first year in university. But we are all pretty much clueless about clubbing. Like the seriously, helplessly clueless until we will definitely get trick by perverts in the club kind of clueless.

So, one of us, who is slightly more experienced (ex-club hopper) suggested that we go to Lounge or Pub or Bar for drinks first to get used to the scene, aka getting our Pubbing Diploma first before graduating to Clubbing. So, we will go to either SkyBar or Qualtro.

Since all my course-mates are suddenly single, I decided to play match-maker to them. I'm planning to introduce my ex-housemate to them. He's super-cool, super-hot, super-steady and super-awesome. So I hope that good things will happen to my course-mates because they really deserve Happiness in the Love and Relationship department. Seriously!

FYI, I'm gearing up to watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen! Bet it's going to Kick-Ass and AWESOME!

Language Cocktailing and Malapropism

Lately i found myself to be mixing English, Malay, Mandarin, Teochew, French, Japanese, etc into a very 'deadly' and confusing cocktail of communicative offenses. It's not my fault, really! Because i am living in Malaysia and thus have friends from every etnicity. I can't help myself...

I was amazed at myself the other day when i went to the MAMAK stall for lunch...


Me: Aneh, i nak nasi goreng ayam, double...
Aneh: OK Leng cai! Duduk dulu. Minum?
Me: Tak nak, nak tapao nasi je..
Aneh: ???... Minum?
Me: Tak nak minum la aneh, nak tapao nasi.
Aneh went and talked to Aneh#2...
Aneh#2: Leng cai, kita takde jual air yang u mau la. Lain-lain air ada.
My brain: Wtf! i told you i want to tapao the goddamn fried rice! No Drink!
Me: Oh... Ok. I nak tapao air limau ais.
Aneh#2: Apa tu tapao?
My brain: Silly me, jumbling up the languages...
Me: Oh!! I nak bungkus nasi goreng ayam double dan air limau ais.
My brain: Bummer!!!


Besides that, I also misused and/or mispronouced some words, especially Malay words...


1. Bangsar Village - Kampung Bangsa
2. Pelat - Pekat
3. Hari - Hali and Kali
4. Rasa - Raseh
5. Mandat - Mantan
6. Pesawah - Pesawa
7. Facade - Visage
8. Beach - Bitch
9. Peach - Pitch
10. Apendicitis - Apenditis

Note-to-self: ALWAYS control you tongue movement when you speak and TRY not to jumble up your languages...

Thanks a bunch Kevin...And other stuffs

Thank you for talking me out of my quest to grow more hair.
Thank you for telling me that all my methods to grow more hair were wrong and would not work.
Thank you for showing me the link to get Midnight Sun partial draft.
Thank you for helping me to persuade my dad to stop smoking via COPD.

Currently, I'm torn.
I'm not sure what I want to do after completing M.A. Should I start working or continue with PhD?
I'm not sure whether I should start chain-dating or stay single, with so many 'flies' flying around me.
I'm not sure about my stomach aka the black hole/bottomless pit that can't seem to be full eventhough I pour 1 tone of foods in it on an hourly basis. I'm going bankcrupt trying to satiated my hunger.
I'm not sure whether I want to sleep or read my mags or watch the TV or surf the Internet. How can house-keeping gets so boring?

Good things that i wish will come sooner...
Getting my RA allowance to help funding my stomach.
Getting more time to paint.
Getting more movies and musics from my friends.
Getting less or no 'flies' around me.
Getting to go home to my mom, dad, grandma, aunties, uncles, cousins.
Getting to eat Home-cooked meals...

The Sex Issue - Clueless Carlos

I was in the middle of my Gossip Girl/Ugly Betty/Grey's Anatomy reruns...

Then I realized all of the shows have elements of sex in every episode...



Gossip Girl...

Chuck Bass was invited to a high-end sex party.

Dan Humprey was doing the new teacher named Rachel.



Ugly Betty...

Amanda was evicted from her apartment so she stayed at MODE and constantly flashed herself to the security guard via the CCTV. Amanda was later caught smooching Betty's crush aka Justin.



Grey's Anatomy...

Derek and Meredith just woke up from their non-marriage sex in the living room of Mer's house. Nuff said.



After seeing this, I was reminded of my friend, Clueless Carlos.(FYI, I'm not disgusted with the sex in the shows but I didn't really like them sexing each and every episode with kinky sex too.)



Carlos is a very naive but interesting character. He is one of those person who stare at you with wide-eyes and them proceed to ask the meanings of sexual terms. This is because he was raised in a highly orthodox non-sexual family so he only got all the sexual knowledge after leaving home.



Examples...

There's this one time when we talked about Threesome, Carlos actually thought that we were talking about having sex on top of the tree. He proceed to think that Foursome is having sex with flour and Gang Bang was misintepreted as Continuous Big Bangs happening simultaneously in the galaxy...



And then there's this one time when one of his kinky, imaginative female friends asked whether he watched girl-on-girl sex before. His reply was, and I quote "I know that you're kidding me so stop it. Girl-on-girl sex is just the product of your overly creative imagination!"



So the moral of Carlos' story (besides the fact that pre-marital sex is a No-No and even if you want to do it, you should practise Safe Sex so that you won't get STDs) is that sexual education is a constant and never-ending learning process. So, embrace and learn...

Vanity

Vanity - Looking at yourself in front of every mirror you come across



Vanity - Start your everyday in front of the mirror, praising your beautiful face and hot bod



Vanity - Take photos of yourself all the time



Vanity - Leave photos of yourself in all your friends cameras/cellphones (because your cellphone don't have any space left to store more photos)



Vanity - Self glorification to yourself and to the people around you



Vanity - Agree with others when they mention that you're attractive/good-looking/hot/smart



Vanity - Willing to suffer for Fashion (P/S: Beauty is Pain so Suck it Up and Embrace Beauty)



Vanity - Always strive to achieve a higher beautiful/good-looking level than where you are now



Vanity - Equate Self Confidence with Vanity



Vanity - Having a bunch of wannabes following you around because you're the King/Queen



Note: IF you have more than all the above symptoms, I'm pleased to be your friend and the pleasure and honor are all yours.

The 10 Notes to Myself

01. Be few steps ahead of the others. Give yourself the power to step over the others behind you.

02. Be prepared. Get ready to make your face thickers. Get ready to face Sudden Ambush by clueless, silly fake Napoleons.

03. Be Fearless! Bring out your guns and shoot the Napoleons down. Torture them first if you like before killing them.

04. Have a Motto to self. My current motto - You don't screw me. I don't screw you. You screw me. I kill you and torture you in hell.

05. Be patience when dealing with stupid bureaucracy/protocol. Patiently visit your targets every three days so that you either build a very good relationship with targets or you annoy them like crazy. Both lead to targets screwing bureaucracy/protocol and giving you what you want all the time.

06. Be smart. Don't waste your time dealing with small fries, go directly to the big boss.

07. Be efficient. Efficiency is the mother of proactivity, resourcefulness, intelligence, communication and charms.

08. Set your boundary. Don't be a himbo/bimbo in from of your supervisors. Be a Man, Do the right thing! Act cool and collected, dress smart and stylish.

09. Don't Procastinate! Do everything right now and then go have fun.
10. Enjoy your studies. Enjoy your works. Enjoy your student privileges. Enjoy your life!

For Jade...What I Like About You

I like the way your hair is messed up in the morning
They remind me of static forces
Just like the static forces that attract me to you

I like that you're comfortable in the way you are
You're cheerful, intelligent and happy-go-lucky
Just like fresh breeze in the park in a perfect spring morning

I like to listen to your voice
Husky, elegant, calm and sexy
Just like the sun shining on the summer seaside

I like you
Hope that you like me too
Just like friends and maybe lovers too

PLEASE REDUCE YOUR GLUCOSE INTAKE!

Public Health Announcement:

One of my best buddies met his worst enemy yesterday and he nearly went into a coma.

Meet 'Diabetes Mellitus', commonly known as Diabetes is a syndrom of disordered metabolism resulting in abnormally high blood sugar levels (hyperglycemia). Diabetes develops due to a diminished production of insulin or resistance to its effects. There's no cure for diabetes, and patients have to inject themselves with insulin on a constant basis because insulin is digestible by enzymes in saliva.

How do you get Diabetes? Well you either inherited it in your genes (Suddenly I feel like supporting stem cells research in gene-modifications and manipulations), or you get it due to your unhealthy diet (all our favorite foods and drinks-especially Coke, Rice, and Sugar contain high level of glucose).

We can't do nothing about our genes right now so we need to suck it up and control it but we can maintain a healthier lifestyle by not having constant sugar-overload. Sugar-overload will cause our pancreatic cells burdens in creating insulin (which tells our bodies that we have had enough foods) until they are not functioning anymore. And this in turn will cause our bloods to have excessive sugar hike (this is very bad, simply put). Imagine your body having to constantly experience this sad scenarios...

If i'm one of your pancreatic cells, I'm so not going to be happy and i'm so going to have a strike (just like the Frenchs). If i'm you i'm so so going to worry about me and my fragile little life here on planet earth. SO, EAT HEALTHY! REDUCE YOUR GLUCOSE INTAKE! SERIOUSLY!

Note-to-self: Drinks at least 2L of water daily. Ban carbonated drinks and sugar.

To CherLinn... And Other Stuffs

Cher Linn must be so so so Happy right now. After pestering me for eons... i finally gave in and start blogging. Give you trophy! Hope you have a great 1st day at work! Go Fearless! Cherlinn!


I'm doing some self-intro since this is THE 1st blog post! I'm Jerry. I'm so full of myself most of the time (P/S: Thank you all for having the patience to be my friends and kudos to all for having the resilience of cacti to withstand my obsessive compulsiveness and narcissism... Give you trophies!)

Now I'm doing my awesomely free (due to my highly-praised efficiency and superbly admired intelligence... Give me trophy.) Master Degree in Sociology/Philosophy in a [...fill in the blank...] university in Malaysia.

I'm totally into watching dramas and movies (you'll learn a lot from TVs and movies, seriously), reading fictional novels (Neil Gaiman's my favorite!), sleeping and reading anything French.

I'm not a BIG fan of gossiping or destroying people who pissed me off...But unfortunately i'm very good at doing so... I'm such a sadist!

Recently we went to Lang Tengah island and we had fun!!! I saw like a school of sharks while snorkeling and I totally dig the foods they served us there. But there's always "BUT" in a happy vacation-The Resort that we stayed in sucked in their hospitality service and maintenance! BIG TIME! They didn't inform us about the time of our second snorkeling trip and on the day before we left, the whole of our wing suddenly... suddenly had not even a drop of water... Because somebody forgot to turn on the water generator... Seriously? Seriously?!

As for the past weekend, I was feeling very very excruciatingly boring because I was house-keeping for one of my friends. Hence, i utilized the awesome internet connection speed at his house to watch Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy and (God-Forbid!) Hannah Montana the movie... Yes! I'm lame... And Yes! I should grow up... But seriously! Hannah Montana was AWESOME!!! Sorry Elle and sorry Kevin that I watched it without you guys but i seriously don't mind watching it with y'all again and again...

I'm so in love with Taylor Swift and sMiley Cyrus now. I'm now learning to sing Fearless, Crazier, You Belong to Me, The Climb, The Hoedown Throwdown, Best of Both Worlds and Rockstar...

I'm in the process of completing a Social Perception Study survey so anyone who want to help me out is so welcome!

Bimbo's Dilemma of the Day: Who should be my wallpaper? Taylor or Miley?