On American Idols and Goodbyes

That dude won American Idol! WTH? Crystal Bowersox can definitely sing FAR FAR BETTER than him. Silly americans only vote based on looks and not talents huh! I'm sure Crystal will fare better than the dude, MUCH BETTER! Just wait till their albums come out...

Seeing this! Makes me realized that sometime...I just gotta move on.
From the things that I cherished,
From the people that I used to loved,
From things that I have lost,
From my friends,
From nostalgias...

I'm not good at doing all that. But I have to move along and not hold on to history.
Cherish today and look forward to tomorrow. And grow up!

So this is goodbye to...

My first ever teddy bear, Mr Bear. He's brown and he has dark eyes and red ribbon on his neck.

The good old days of joining the 37th Kerian Scout Troop. All the campings, and campfires, and awesome training camps. Oh memories!

Some of my bestest friends that I have the honors to make and had a lot of fun hanging out with. Guess chit-chatting at Mamak Stalls is not really our things anymore huh... And hence we drifted further apart due to our other commitments!

The Skinny Jerry. And then the Chubby Jerry. A guy gotta exercise to stay fit and healthy.

Also to the lazy and constantly procastinating part of me. I can do "Better Late Than Never" anymore. I need to evolve and do "Better Now Then Late" starting from NOW. There's never gonna be NEVER in my book. I need to JUST DO IT!

To some of my friends, who showed their true selves and turned out to be very bad for me. I have to be strict and brutal here. Buang Yang Keruh, Ambil Yang Jernih.

Finally, I have to say goodbye to the respects and admirations that I had for some people too. I hope that they will know soon that it's bad and irresponsible to be selfish and lazy, to not keep promises, to be overbearingly dependent, to have selective hearing, to be a marginalist, to reply messages with laconic mono-syllabic terms, to not open up, to not communicate, to judge a book by its cover, and to assume that I'm their charity case.

So long. Goodbye. Breakaway.

Friends 2.0

"You're a brutally cruel person when it comes to deciding who's your friend." I get that a lot from all my friends.

Truth is... I don't like to make new friends. Hate making the effort to look for new friends. Hate trying to get a conversation moving. Hate to make the first move to make friends. Hate to repeat the whole process over again...

Most importantly, i like to keep my friends exclusive. Don't really care about strangers but i will cross the ocean and get dirty to help and support my friends. Seriously! I honestly believe that any friendship made is like a bond between humans. It's a sacred bond, and both sides should never ever even think of ruining it.

I think i make a solid A- as friends. I listen. I care. I help anywhere I can. I share. I gossip. I bitch. And i'm capable of telling my friends that they suck, when they really suck! Sorry, can't ruin the sacred bond with dishonesty, right?

But i personally think that the "brutally cruel" part has to come in somehow... When i'm discontinuing a friendship after some supercillious fools decided to break the sacred bond.

How? Not accepting me as a full package by only liking my good parts. Betraying my trust. Try to prevent me from making new friends. Held me down.

How i deal with these? I cut them out completely. End of the story.

Hey! But i'm not completely heartless! I will consider (don't be too hopeful. i'm just considering..) to rebond for those that have balls to apologize and admit that they screwed up.

Recent events have make me decide to repeat the process of making new friends. I'm OCD, so i believe in keeping the exclusive quota that is my number of friends - Cut the number down when it gets to much, get the number up to replace the fallens.

Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

P/S: THIS SONG IS AWESOME!!!!!

Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cos
I can't fight it anymore

And i wonder if i ever crossed your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And i need you now
Said i wouldn't call but
I lost all control
And i need you now

And i don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey
Can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you come sweeping
Like the way you did before

And i wonder if i ever crossed your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one
I'm a little drunk
And i need you now
Said i won't call but
I lost all control
And i need you now

And i don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now

Guess i rather hurt than feel nothing at all

It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And i need you now
And i said i wouldn't call
But i'm a little drunk
And i need you now

And i don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now

I just need you now...

Oww baby i need you now...

CHECK OUT VIDEO ON YOUTUBE!!!!!

Chubbily-Skinnily Duckling

In the begining, there were two types of people. Those that gain weight quickly due to low metabolism rate; and those who can't seem to gain weight due to high metabolism rate.

The low-met worked very hard to stay slim. They did all sorts of diets... They exercised and ran like there's not tomorrow... Heck! They even counted how many spoonfuls of rice they get to have per day!

The high-met, unsurprisingly, worked very hard to gain weight. They ate like there would be no foods left tomorrow... They even tried the weight gaining powders... When they saw that the above methods failed, they just ate, slept and ate some more!

Life was depressing for both types of people... And some (or should I say a majority of them) found solace in each others' predicament and that's when everything fell apart...

They fell in love. Then they got married. And they made babies... Babies with weird metabolism...

Various weird babies were made... Especially babies with different metabolic rates on different parts of their bodies... Like one with low metabolism on his face but high metabolism on all other parts of his body from the neck down...

He was so saddened due to his chubby face and slim body... Others laughed and teased him... He was the "Chubbily-Skinnily Duckling!"

But he was determined to make them stop... He was not gonna let them win with their insensitive teasing and laughing!

So he started eating lots of red meat (because they contain high amounts of proteins) and exercising consistently to help him build muscle, and he started chewing gums, singing (only when he's alone or in the shower) and talking and making new friends to help him to slim his face down.

And it worked! Now he has an awesomely handsome face and healthy and toned body! And he's having the last laugh over those that used to laughed at him! Ha ha ha =)


=THE END=

Cruella

Cruella Cruella
She thinks she's Cinderella
But she's uglier than the ugliest umbrella

Cruella Cruella
She thinks she's the best of the best
But she's sucking at being the last of the rest

Cruella Cruella
She thinks she's honest and real
But she's just a hypocritically bitchy seal

Cruella Cruella
She said she's not judging
But she's judging every thing and person on every breath she's breathing

Cruella Cruella
She thinks she's funny and cool
But she's nothing but a messed-up fool

Cruella Cruella
You're not one of my fellas
You're just uglier than the ugliest umbrella

Mr Me

These things i write
Are not exactly true
When i write, i write
Reality and fictions too

If you are wise
You will see through
The truths and lies
You will get through

Inspirations come
Whenever i'm down
And i'll be calm
when i'm out of town

Into the woods
Across the rivers
Enjoying single-hood
Sometimes the shivers

Because i'm single
I'm always available
Ready to mingle
Not always attainable

Sober

I'm drunk with your love-spell,
It's contagious and tasteless,
There's no saving since i fell,
Your vortex is bottomless.

There's no contact since you left,
You said we can only be friends,
So i'm stucked with nothing left,
Because i wanted to be more than your friend.

I've been mopping myself around,
Frustrated and saddened by your love-spell,
So i'm trying to turn myself around,
Away from you and your love-spell.

I will be sober sooner or later,
I will get back some happiness,
Let's hope i can feel better,
When your spell turns into emptiness.

vampire

if i'm a vampire,
i'll be your desire.
you can't stop my fire,
from making you perspire.

if i'm a vampire,
i'll make you surrender,
to all my orders,
or you will suffer.

if i'm a vampire,
you'll be my lover,
forever and ever,
submitted to my power.

if i'm a vampire,
i will be your maker.
we'll be perfect lovers,
for each other.

i'm not a vampire,
so i will suffer.
we can't be lovers,
forever never after.

Vanity is a "HE"

As the title indicated, this is a vain post dedicated to yours truly. So, if you can't tolerate the level of narcissism (which is uber-ordinarily high!) you should just click something else right now.

I felt like it's been eternity since i last critiqued the absolute awesomeness that is ME. don't get me wrong, I am uber-lutely sure that I am AWESOME. It's just that I have to evaluate my awesomeness to see if there's any room for improvement. So here goes... Top-down...

My awesome hair has gotten longer and even more awesome.... Now I can style it spiky, puffy, wavy and even comb it nicely... I'm thinking of dying my naturally brown hair blond... Hahaha... I kid... I kid...

After taking some groundnuts cookies during CNY, i have learnt my lesson - No nuts cos nuts will give me pimples outbreaks. Now, the precious face of yours truly is even more smooth, firm and fair... Thanks to ample times invested on facial treatment, scrubbing and cleansing... Amen.

As for my body, it turned into a total stranger after the festivities that was CNY. Was following a rather tight tummy lost regime... Consisting of running, swimming, more running and skipping dinner and also not eating carbs... Beauty is definitely pain and after much suffering for the past few days... I'm proud to say that I've gained back my V-shaped figure. Yay yay yay!

My legs... one wish - get longer. And two words - Sexy hairs. Nuff said...

Thanks for not throwing out. Have a nice day.

Aiya... Aiyeh...

Was running around my school. Exercise running, not doing errands running. Was feeling absolutely awesome because i got to let off some steams and just enjoy the freedom of running in the dark. was very exhilarating because my imagination sometimes made me thinks that there are shadows following me in the dark, so i would run faster. The longer i run, the happier i became. There's something in the air at nights that makes me feel ever so fresh and exciting! Fairy dust!

Down the stairs into the fields across the roundabout passing the mosque enter the faculties up the hills i ran. When i was about to collapsed and lactic acids were building up to their threshold in my every muscles, i headed back to my dorm. Satisfied and exhausted. Time for a long and cold shower. Then i would rest a very long rest.

Turning the tap but nothing came out.

Aiya... Aiyeh...

No water......

Still Taking Ang Paus, Thank You for Gambling

It's a popular tradition for chinese folks to give and receives "Ang Paus" or pocket money during the chinese new year celebration. Usually, those who gives ang paus would give willingly and happily if they have many children, like the couples in "Cheaper by the Dozen". But those with no child / one child / two childrens would be rather depressed because they will burn a hole in their pockets, because they don't have enough children to ''Breakeven". The happiest person in the whole wide world (well, at least in my household...) is not the children though... It's actually the adult and single / unmarried folks. Why? Children get standard rate ang paus ranging from RM2 to RM 20. But the singles actually get ang paus ranging from RM2 to RM 200, and the ang paus with more than RM50 inside are the majority.

So at least one of the singles would of course be very happy because he can then give his pocket money back to his folks and also donates some to charity.

It's also a very popular but unspoken tradition for chinese folks to gamble during chinese new year celebration. There are two types of gambling (well, at least in my household...), You get folks who drove all the way from Northern Penisular Malaysia to Genting Highland, and Sentosa Island just starting from this year. They didn't go there for the views or for the theme park rides. They were on a mission to be more properous and accumulate more fortune. These are serious gamblers who occasionally praise the handlers in the casinos when they won, and definitely curse and acold the handlers in the same casinos when they lose. But my dear friend who works in a casino (as the handler who always definitely get cursing and scolding from losing gamblers... Unfortunately) said that everything boils down to control...i.e. WHEN TO STOP GAMBLING... AND WALK AWAY... Gamblers on a losing streak are not exactly having excruciatingly depressive bad lucks, they lack the CONTROL and always think way too positively in terms of winning their losses back...

And i quote my friend : "Thank you for gambling in ???? Casino. We hope that you get more and more optimistic whenever you lose your money so that we can get you to lose more money when you are on your losing streak. Just don't curse and scold me due to your lack of CONTROL." End quote.

Another type of gambling is with your family (parents, relatives, cousins, friends too if you're close enough). I personally like this type because it's not exactly gambling per says since you're chatting and catching up with your fellow gamblers most of the time. Your mind is not focusing on winning, but rather just to chillax with those close to you. I was goofing around BIG-TIME impersonating different personalities / celebrities with my folks. I didn't even feel bad losing because i only lost RM50 but the jokes, stories and times i get with my folks were just priceless...

Of course my cousins (who learnt the art and different games of gambling from me when they were young) were always happy to win my money and of course they thanked me for gambling and losing to them...

You annoyed me...

Dear people who annoyed the hell out of me recently,

1) You're not a God. You're not a saint. You're not Mother fricking Theresa! Stop mothering and intefering with your independent juniors in the debating society. They have brains that function pretty well. Frankly speaking their brain are much more intelligent that yours when it comes to decision-making. When they are not following your 'orders', that's because they thought it's totally stupid and irrelevant. They just don't want to hurt your fragile little heart because they don't want to waste their time to console you when you start crying. That's why they don't tell you that they actually hate you. So go get a life outside debating and stop nagging and pestering your juniors.

2) Not everything is about you! Get that?! People can survive and train without you in debating. People still can eat and chat merrily without your always-focus-on-the-negative-and-very-annoying presence. Heck! people actually have more fun when you're not around them. Life can goes on without you. If you think that you are an important person in everybody's life, you seriously need to reconsider, Honey. i just happens to know a lot of people who are very irritated by your constant, silly, unreasonable and childish tantrums. They don't even want to hear or see you anymore. So please stop making everything about you, unless you want to annoy more people away from you.

3) Silly biatch! why must i sigh a fucking form when i have a fucking official letter with me? Does the form makes you work your heavy ass faster? No! Since when did you came up with this shiteous fucked-up system that makes you grow fatter? Since forever! I fucking hate you silly biatch and i hope that you'll get fired from your job. Thanks for wasting my time and delaying my salary.

4) Gosh! stop being an ass-holes and move on. Your parent gave birth to you so that you can at least have a decent life. so you seriously needs to fucking move on, away from her.... It's not gonna happen... There are other girls out there who's far more low-maintanance and much less silly than her... Remember - Not happening... MOVE ON!!!

5) I'm not your mother, I'm not your fucking boyfriend. You need to realize that seriously i have more important things to worry about (like whether i get to eat for the coming weeks without my salary, whether i can complete my master degree in time, or even whether i get to find LOVE before i die!) that your bowel movement or whether you want to meet up with a person that actually hates you for lunch or not! Don't waste my time and energy...

6) It's not happening between us. I don't want you back. You are too psychotic and annoying to be with. Gosh! You literally suck out all my positive energy with your crazy, envious and bitchy attics... I'm too good for you, I'm way out of your reach. So stop texting and pestering me to meet up with you. stop nagging me to give you a second chance. You sounded so cheap...

Happy New Year! May you live a better life and stop annoying me...

Best regards,
Jerry

Debating in BM and Personal Glory...

Last night, we had an awesome debate with the team from INTEC.. IN Bahasa Malaysia!!! And i was in the team representing my college. I was so nervous and excited when we were prepping for the match. It's been a long looonnngg time since i last debated in Bahasa Malaysia. I even practised in front of the bathroom mirror (That's the bigger mirror i can get... With full-view of my entire upper body... So i'm not complaining!) and i sounded so weird trying to speak Bahasa baku... I even laughed at myself because i was practically stunned.

Good thing i had a very strong team, consisting of Iejan (my absolutely wise and witty team-mate back when we were joining BM debate in our first year) and Hidir + Jija (our equally wise and hardworking juniors). We helped each other with our points and argumentation and all was great because we were just so in-tuned with each other. Really enjoy working in an awesome team with smooth, effective dynamic.

We were up against so smart-alecs from INTEC, they came late... Booo Hooo... And they were unprepared. We absolutely kicked their sorry asses during the match. Iejan was being his usual whimsical and yet commanding self. Hidir was calm and collected as the second speaker thanks to Jija helping him to come up with his speech. And i was really sarcastic and mean as the whip speaker. i practically whipped the sweats out of the INTEC speakers... (cue evil grin....)

By the end of the match, they were looking so defeated and we were just happy that we gave our best performance despite not debating for so long already. Unfortunately, we lost to INTEC because we made the mistake of rejecting their case although we could've just accepted and attacked them straight-up. It was a lost with small margin, but we had so much fun.

I was even named as the best fricking speaker in the match... Seriously! I was caught by suprise by that announcement. This means a lot to me because when i started public speaking in primary school, i started with BM... So nostalgic and magical...

We invited them back for rematch and i'm sure we gonna kick their asses even more strongly the next time they come... Revenge needs to be seek, Justice needs to be served...

Till the next post then...

Good day! Good day!

i have to thank the monkeys that came into my room this morning. The woke me up with their cookies eating gathering. If it was not for them, i would've been late for my appointment in Damansara. Of course they got their rewards... Some packages of cookies and my oranges... Gotta get new cookies and oranges now...

i'm so happy today. We finally got the clearance from the treasury department to use the remaining of our project funding. We also got our funding from our fund provider. Now we have more than enough funding to ensure full-speed ahead for our research. This means me getting my Master degree sooner than planned. Yay!!!

On a more personal note, i was working very hard few months ago on a student exchange trip to Australia. Canberra to be more precise, at the Australian National University. Today i got to know that my generous school is giving my team more than enough funding for our little study trip Down Under. This is totally awesome because i get to go visit my friends, cousin and aunt too after our trip to ANU. It's been a long time since i last saw then. i really miss them all.

i'm well from my tonsilitis too, finally... Was taking it easy with what i ate during the past few days. But today i let loose after i was 100% sure that my throat and my stomach can handle the situation! StarBucks' Caramel Machiato was the first up. Followed by one carton of Dutch Lady Low Fat Milk plus half a package of large Kellogg's Frosties. Lunch was Egg noodles with curry and Beef Lasagna. (P/S: Was running around, hence the high calories... Then again, I have very high metabolic rate... Kudos to that!)

Gearing up for dinner now. Was keeping my stomach empty for the Chinese New Year celebration dinner in my dorm.... Hope i get to eat delicious foods...

Jeg savner deg...

What i wanted to said...

You made me felt safety...
whenever i look at you
You made me felt hypnotized...
with your beautiful eyes
You made me felt secured...
because you're a comfort zone
You made me felt hopeful...
that emotional connection is possible
You made me felt connected...
it's like we've known each other since forever
You made me felt suprized...
it's impossiblly rare to share so much in common
You made me felt relaxed...
i can go on talking with you
You made me felt calmness...
the world stops when i'm with you
You made me felt greedy...
i can never get enough of you
You made me felt flabbergasted...
that falling for someone is so easy
You made me felt conflicted...
i've been trying and failling to not fall for you

You make me feel love...
i'm happy that we are friends because i think i love you

Sickness Became Me

Been down since this Monday. Damn! I should take better care of myself. Eat healthier foods, go exercise and follow a more structured sleeping rountine. But of course, I did not. So now I'm still suffering (Seriously! SUFFFEEEERRINNG!) from crazy fever and depresive Tonsilitis.

I confirmed the fact that I'm super moody, cranky and magnificently un-productive when I'm sick. I've been laying on bed whenever I got the chance too since Monday. Lost some weight too. Swallowing anything has been like shoving stones and pebbles down my throat. Excruciatingly painful to bear, effingly annoying to wait for this to stop. (War Cry to my throat: You will not get me! Hell ya I'm gonna drink chilled yogurt drinks and stop eating solid foods!)

Nothing much I could do, or rather I wanted to do these past few days. Highlight of my days (well, at least for these few days...) is reading 'Map of the Invisible World' by Tash Aw. Oh! I thank him for his smooth story telling. Really soothened my pain.

I don't like it when people start bombarding me with calls EVERYTIME I'm sick! Especially those who called and ignored the fact that I'm literally speechless and continued with their noise pollution! Heck! I can't even stand lullaby being played at low volume! Do you really think I was listening to your stupid emo-babbling about breaking up with your boyfriend?

So please put down your end of the phone nicely and switch to texting me when I'm telling you that I'm sick. Don't be a bitch because I'm gonna be wasting your phone credit by putting my phone somewhere (far)away from my hearing...

Dear God! Please heal me... I'm withering into non-existence and I'm sad that I can't work (and play). Thank You for Your kind and always generous TLC. Amen.

i rather...

To A, K, WS, J, J, FS, and LP

i rather let you hate me,
than keeping the brutal truth from you.
i rather let you learn from your mistake,
than constantly correcting you.
i rather stay by your side,
than going away from you.
i rather talk to you in person,
than typing this and thinking about you.
i rather hug and kiss you,
than looking at the picture of you.
i rather wait for you to find out,
than telling you i have always love you.
i rather be sad and lonely without you,
than spending my time with anyone but you.

i hope you know all this, but it's impossible...
you don't know me, and you never will...

When are you coming???

I need time...
I need space...
I need energy...
I need passion...
I need bravery...
I need certainty...
I need my soul...
I need my time...
I need my love...

When are you coming???

Bummed...

There's this author named Neil Gaiman,
Whose stories are enjoyed by this man;
This man got himself almost all his books,
He swore to get them all, by hooks or by crooks;
"Smokes and Mirrors" was picked up one day,
This man was planning to read it in a day;
But then this man suddenly realised,
That the stories inside were full of suprises;
A hidden story as undelivered wedding gift,
A chopped arm as Mr Fox's death gift;
A stack of tarots about vampires,
Another stack of tarots owned by a sorceress;
There are many more suprises in store,
Which scare this man's friends even more;
Right now this man is feeling bummed,
Because he is not feeling calm;
This man wonders when he will,
Get his wild imagination to be still;
A warnng for all you scaredy cats out there,
Before you read Neil Gaiman you should put your imagination in "Neverwhere".

Poker Face

I won't tell you that I love youKiss or hug youCause I'm bluffin' with my muffinI'm not lying I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunningJust like a chick in the casinoTake your bank before I pay you outI promise this, promise thisCheck this hand cause I'm marvelous